It occurred to me just a couple of days ago that if I ate the same food I feed my kids I’d be really healthy. I have their three little plates sectioned out well with their vegetables, fruits, proteins and grains. They actually eat it all too, mostly. Truly, I think this is an area that I’ll pat myself on the back. But probably just one pat. That line about kids doing what you do not what you say jumps in my face and is surrounded by chocolate in my minds eye.
I wonder how long I have before the kids notice that I fix them their well-balanced plates of yogurt, humus and raw veggies, cut up apples and turkey roles only to then stand in the kitchen eating my crepe with nutella and bananas with a side of chocolate chip cookies and dessert of their halloween candy? I’m serious! My food baby that is growing in my lower abdomen is going to start getting questions from strangers in the grocery line. It won’t be the first time that a check-out lady asks me “when are you due?” (I no longer have a Sams club membership for the record). I noticed in the mirror recently though that all my baked treats and lack of nutritious eating is catching up with me. It was a good wake up call. Time to retrain my tastebuds and ‘practice what I preach’ so to speak by eating what I’m feeding.
Alas, self control is not my strong suite. I am surprised really since I used to most definitely not be into food much, in fact I rarely found the time to eat so I was probably a few hundred calories short. These kiddos are getting to a new stage where I can actually take a few minutes to eat, (and shower for those who used to wonder if I did that), usually not during the meal as every 20 seconds someone asks for more water, another fork, their dropped sippy cup, a napkin etc. so I don’t sit at the table long enough to take bites, but I do eat after or while I’m making the meal I’m also sampling it. I should probably choose more wisely though after the latest glimpses in the mirror.
The same is true of nourishing my heart. I often tell myself, “I’m just in a season where “quiet time” is hard. But, in reality, if I try hard, I can find the time, and make the time to feed my soul well. When my kids have “quiet rest” for 45 minutes I collapse on the couch and look at pintrest or facebook or email without moving, or most days, I could spend the full 45 minutes returning text messages that I missed all morning while busy with my sweet littles. Instead, I wish I wanted to take that time for scouring the scriptures for the education, inspiration and mirror of truth to help me grow and change. The cravings don’t change though until you have developed your taste for a new goodness.
Just like with food. I used to be a very healthy eater. The idea of spinach salad or raw veggies sounded great, I would choose it and not because I wanted to be healthy but because it tasted good to me. A month ago I had my blender go on the fritz and I had to 2 weeks before the replacement came. I filled my previous “smoothie” snacks or meals with baked goods of pumpkin bread, cookies, crepes (I just fell in love with crepes) and fall treats that are just plain yummy. I retrained my tastebuds to crave and desire all that sugar and give in over and over to that temptation. And so it goes with our spiritual lives too. I give in to that desire to lay and persue mindlessly through photos of cute people I rarely see in person, and crafts I will never make, to pass the short window of quiet instead of diving into TRUTH or exercising my heart in a healthy way. I know what it takes to retrain my tastebuds and I know what it takes to retrain my heart. It’s time.
When you start making healthy choices and you look in the mirror and see the change it is so sweet. You see the fruits of labor or even of self control. You see muscles maybe that you didn’t know could be there when you begin to exercise in new ways. The same is true when you start exercising your heart. I want to use those moments of quiet to read truth (look in the mirror), yes, but also to exercise. To create acts of love in unexpected places. I want to be able to see the way my heart is changing just as I hope new eating habits will change my body. So, with my quiet moments I will pray for others, I will call the lonely, I will write encouragement to the discouraged, I will find a way to be a blessing to someone – even a text of love to my sweet husband who often hears my complaints but often misses out on my sweet stories of each day. So, starting now, this November, a month I love, as it’s focused on thankfulness and goodness, I will be thankful for the ability to change and grow and I will strive to nourish my soul and hopefully others’ as well. AND, I’ll stop over-nourishing my sweet tooth and start eating what I’m feeding. We’ll see how it goes.